A tale of two bloggers in foreign countries

There are a couple of bloggers whom I follow avidly. They both have one main similarity: Both are gay men living in foreign countries pursuing their dreams and adventures in exotic lands. However, the rest is so different. One is presumably a gay White European who lives most of his time (between visa runs) in Thailand, while the other is a gay Afro-American guy currently living in South Africa.

It is fascinating to me on how their own roots affect the way they view relationships, love, sex, work, in the countries where they set up to carry their adventures. Both are (or have experienced) relationships with local men. The White European blogger calls his blog gayboythailand (see here), while the Afro-American guy is Lindito (see here). As much as they love or hate their living situations, they write from the viewpoints of their roots. For instance, Mr. Lindito’s latest entry explains his reasons why he does not do interracial relationships. But for him, the meaning of  “interracial” is between a White person and a Black person. So, for him a relationship with a person like I may not be considered “interracial?” I don’t know. I suspect that he is so narrow focused on the power struggles based on skin color that Asians or other Non-Whites do not register in his gaydar. Mr. Lindito exclusively dates Black men. However, I noticed that he dates Black men outside of his Afro-American group. I don’t know the reason why. Maybe the exotic factor.

On the other hand, Mr. gayboythailand views his relationship with a young Thai guy in a very similar way as other wealthier White foreigners. Basically, akin of a father-son relationship with sexual privileges. His writings show how difficult it is to carry a relationship based on the beauty of one of the partners and the financial strength of the other. There does not seem to be anything else that bonds them.

I would like to thank both bloggers for their continuing adventures (and corresponding writings). They have helped me obtain some insight as to what makes the heart wander.

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5 thoughts on “A tale of two bloggers in foreign countries

  1. Sorry if my comment offended you. It is just that when you write about your relationship, it seems to be centered about budgets and whether he is working or not. I am sure there is a lot of happy times, and I hope I am wrong about the money part. I may be jaded on this.

  2. heh. i’ve accidentally found this post. didn’t even know you read my blog.

    i’m guessing you don’t have access to my locked posts, as you would know that the only thing *really* american about me is, well, my place of birth and thus my passport.

    accent? nope. way that i write? depends on the audience.

    i think you’re actually jaded somewhat. [i know that i am.]

    to answer your question — which i don’t think i would have done at the time you wrote this post, as i was in zimbabwe — my mother is black, my father is black. more importantly, nearly all of my positive role models were black. why would i date anyone not-black? just wondering.

    wrt to your statements and queries about asians and/or other not-white peoples; i suppose i should say that i largely look at race through the latin american prism as well as the north american one. [my username itself should have been a clue about that, to be honest.]

    in much of latin america, most “asians” are very much a part of the white power structure [as are arabs, which is how we have had presidents bacaram, mahuad, menem, as well as fujimori]. if you read my interracial relationships posts for content, you would know that most of my vitriol/disapproval of such things are related to the power dynamic and the power structures in place to make it possible. so it would depend on where such a [black-asian, for example] relationship was taking place as to how i would feel about it. latin america or africa, i’d be against it [it would be unlikely as well, for much of the same reasons i’d be against it]. in europe it would be very unlikely, and even more so in the united states, unless the *black* person in question were either a) really rich or b) really light or c) both.

    one of my former coworkers is an indian woman from trinidad. her parents moved to arizona when she was in high school so that she nor her sibilings would get romantically involved with black people. of course, *all* of them ended up marrying black people; to make matters “worse”, my coworker actually married a black guy from guyana. [which has its own issues of black/indian relations, most of which aren’t good; they eloped and neither set of parents spoke to them for nearly five years.] that said, in the us or the uk, indians from the caribbean have a different relationship with black people than indians from india or especially africa.

    i’ve rarely dated americans because of the language issue. i grew up in a house where four languages were spoken; i can get by in about five more. americans in general [regardless of color] aren’t particularly thrilled when people are speaking other languages in their presence. since many of the major people in my life don’t speak english *at all*, this would always be an issue.

    i’m *always* going to be speaking a foreign language in front of other people; in the united states, native-born americans from non-recent-immigrant families have always had a problem with this.

    [i know you’ve heard the trilingual/bilingual/american joke.]

    perhaps i’ve rolled with too many nativists or something. since i was largely educated in pennsylvania, that could be an issue — pennsylvania has more people born in the usa than any state except california.

    in addition, my upbringing has me far more in common with non-american blacks than with american ones. this has been a running joke my entire life; in my 8th-grade yearbook, a [black colombian] girl actually wrote “i hope you get back to zimbabwe. you talk about it enough.” then she wrote, in spanish, “but us foreign blacks have to stick together.”

    if you had emailed me seven months ago, i probably would have answered you then.

  3. Dear Lindito,

    Thanks for the reply. I stumble on your blog a long time ago, after you made a comment in the Monaga blog (the one about life in Santo Domingo).

    Obviously, as you stated, I don’t have access to other information about you. My observations are mainly from what you let the public read.

    Will my observations change after all that you wrote? Maybe. But just ask yourself. If a stranger, like I, read your blog, what kind of idea will that person get about you?

    You are using words, in the same way as I, to portray yourself. I am just interpreting the painting. As far as I was concerned when I read your posts then, you are as American as any other U.S. passport carrying person who enters and leave countries visa-free.

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