When you say what you do not mean

nostalgiaSometimes we do things out of politeness because we think this will spare someone else’s feelings. How often have we said “I am busy,” “I am tired,” “I’ll call you later,” “I don’t have time”? What we really mean is “get out of my life,” “I don’t love you any more,” “please go away.” However, we are trained to be nice and polite. We do not really want to hurt someone else’s feelings.

But by saying things diplomatically, don’t you think it makes it worse? I have gone through an array of human beings during my life time. I have been taught to be nice, to not hurt someone’s feelings. However, I wonder whether going the “nuclear” option (that is, just be honest) may be the best solution. If something festers like a cancer, don’t you think it is best to cut it off, rather than smooth it with medication? What the later does is to just shrink the cancer; it does not go away. Cutting it off will at least give you a chance to start anew, even if it may be illusory.

I wonder how many people have I hurt by saving words that I do not mean. I wonder how many of them do really know what I mean, and go away quietly, cursing the day that I met them. They say that honesty is the best medicine. It may be the best medicine but it hurts a lot.


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